(Possibly) memorable quotes from Gausdal Classics 2002

(Note: The quotes are selected, translated, interpreted and corrected from a wide variety of languages and situations, according to the memory of several persons. Inaccurate quotes so can be granted, and the given quotes should not be read too seriously or in any way used against any living person.)

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"I hope all of you are just as happy to play this tournament as I am not to"
(Emergency substitute and IA Hans Olav Lahlum before starting round 1.)

"My room is too small for my preparations!"
(IM Stelios Halkias obviously having great ambitions before the tournament.)

"Frustrating for once to meet a player even more boring than myself, when I for once needed to win a game"
(FM Niclas Hjelm explaining why he played a short draw against Øystein Hole in round 6.)

"He is obviously right"
(Øystein Hole commenting on the above statement from Hjelm.)

"What I think about my norm chances? That they never existed!"
(Øystein Hole commenting why he played this tournament.)

"I am still clearly overrated"
(FM Lars Venø Jakobsen (2320) commenting on his 2420-performance.)

"Do you have any prize for the player to lose most ELO?"
(Pål Røyset having 0/6.)

"I am not playing that bad. I am just losing all my games"
(Stig Tjomsland commenting the level in the GM-group when having 1/7.)

"Why is not my ninth round result on the lists yet? We have played the game!"
(Ole Valaker being dissatisfied to be listed with 5/5 instead of 6/6.)

"My physical condition will decide in the final rounds"
(Bjørnar Byklum before taking ½/3 in the final rounds.)

"I made some good moves too – at least in round 7 and 9"
(IM Ilias Kourkounakis commenting on the quality of his play.)

"Good food – bad moves"
(IM Sergei Kasparov commenting Gausdal so far after round 6.)

"Does he ever move any muscle of his face?"
(Geir Sune Tallaksen commenting his feelings after having played IM Kasparov for four hours.)

"He did not play like I expected him to do. He played much more like Petrosian"
(Thomas Johansson commenting his feelings after having played Geir Sune Tallaksen for four hours – and explaining why he started giving away pawns.)

"I just wonder about one small thing: Why haven't you......"
(Jon Ludvig Hammer, 11 years old and nicknamed "security system" - about 64 times during the tournament.)

"I had at least three minutes – and it was only five moves!"
(Jon Ludvig Hammer, 11, when asked why he left the board while having two minutes left for six moves.)

"It is not that late, really!"
(Magnus Carlsen, 11, starting to demonstrate his first round game at 00.45.)

"OK, I can go to bed early tonight!"
(Magnus Carlsen, still 11, hastily finishing the demonstration of his game at 00.55 - as his father still did not agree to the above statement.)

"First I need to stabilize my position - then I will start a counterattack"
(Per Johansson, 61, commenting his ELO development.)

"No way! I defeated one in 1982 and another one in 1992!"
(Matts Unander when asked whether his win against Westerinen was his first ever against a GM.)

"Can we round it off to 3.9?"
(IM Mark Bluvshtein, when having taken 4/9 and having learned that his expected score were 4.0/9. The arbiter agreed to check it one more time - and then rounded it off to 4.1!)

"I won again – I am the great champion of the tournament!"
(GM Keith Arkell having played table tennis.)

"Pure irresponsibility"
(Responsible IM Berge Østenstad commenting Kjetil A Lie's piece sacrifice against GM Arkell in round 2.)

"Unacceptable behaviour by a GM in a foreign country"
(Norwegian IM Berge Østenstad commenting GM Arkell's decision to think for 80 minutes and then refuse Lie's piece sacrifice in round 2.)

"Everything went according to my plans – until the fourth hour of play in the last round"
(IM and planning master Berge Østenstad explaining why he is still an IM.)

"I became a GM in 1997, not in 1995. And you will hear from my lawyer soon!"
(GM Normunds Miezis commenting his portrait to IA Hans Olav Lahlum.)

"My opponent played very very strange!"
(GM Normunds Miezis explaining his loss to FM Lars Venø Jakobsen in round 6.)

"If we were in XXXXXX or somewhere around there, I would have understood that draw - but not at Gausdal!"
(GM Normunds Miezis commenting FM Lars Venø Jakobsen's decision to take a short draw as white in the eight round when needing 1½/2 for an IM-norm.)

"Mr Lahlum wrote in his portrait that you are good at calculating variations. He is wrong"
(GM Normunds Miezis commenting Bjarte Leer-Salvesen during their analysis after round two.)

"Oh – that much. Then I think: Interesting idea"
(GM Normunds Miezis having 3/3 after defeating GM Westerinen, and being told that he would gain more than 20 ELO points if taking 9/9)

"Maybe I now can avoid answering that silly question about whether I will take 9/9"
(GM Normunds Miezis after having lost to FM Lars Venø Jakobsen in round 6.)

"I think he knows much about chess. At least he knows much more than I do"
(GM Normunds Miezis about FM Niclas Hjelm)

"Lunch! Excellent idea, that's after all the first reason why I am here!"
(GM Normunds Miezis having 8/9 and being informed that "the lunch is served.")

"Next time I think you should have a lady tournament too. If not I will demand extra payment for phone expenses!"
(GM Normunds Miezis being helpful to improve the future tournament concept.)

"I think actually Miezis is among the nicest persons I have ever met. His level of sarcasm is just a little bit too developed."
(Per Wikström commenting GM Normunds Miezis and GM Normund Miezis' sense of humour.)

"I understand that Mr Lahlum never sleeps during his tournaments. But does he never eat either?"
(IM Jeroen Bosch during the lunch of day four.)

"Silent, please… I mean SHUT UP"
(IA Hans Olav Lahlum trying to start the prizegiving.)

"Before leaving our true friend Arild Johansen donated his prize to the organiser. I think I also heard him saying something about "strongly requesting all other prize winners to do the same....""
(IA Hans Olav Lahlum making one last and a rather desperate try to save the budget at the end of the prizegiving.)