Quotes

    
(Possibly) memorable quotes from Gausdal Troll Masters 2003

(Note: The quotes are selected, translated, interpreted and corrected from a wide variety of languages and situations, according to the memory of several persons. Inaccurate quotes so can be granted, and the given quotes should not be read too seriously or in any way used against any living person.)

The organiser is a little bit dissatisfied with the level of quotes this year, most funny remarks seems to have taken place without my knowledge.... The quotes column of Gausdal Classics 2002 had a much higher level despite fewer participants. But for what it is:



"I have been in Hastings for nine days - I need food!"
GM Normunds Miezis entering his first dinner at Gausdal.

"I have heard this electricity crisis in Norway is a very serious one..."
GM Normund Miezis commenting the shave of the arbiter.

"Hello bastard"
FM Bjarte Leer-Salvesen thanking the arbiter for getting the chance to play white against his roommate Geir Sune Tallaksen in round four.

"I think you both are lucky"
GM Normunds Miezis commenting that room mates Bjarte Leer-Salvesen and Geir Sune Tallaksen had to meet in round four.

"I think Rozentalis got the choice between 25 winning endgames, but chose none of them. You are really a great player!"
GM Normunds Miezis congratulating Bjørn-Erik Glenne with his draw against GM Eduardas Rozentalis.

"I am truly a sleazy fighter - oh what a sleazy fighter I am"
Paul Johansen having won a game.

"I think actually the position was interesting until I blundered for the third time...."
Paul Johansen explaining his loss against Stig K Martinsen.

"You are reminding me about myself and my bookkeeper"
Paul Johansen commenting the organiser's desperate tries to convince Lugovoi that he should play next Gausdal tournament too....

"Do you think 6/10 will be sufficient for a money prize?"
Unrated surprising man Terje Torgersen still having ambitions at 4/8

"Will I be allowed to play, or should I return to Germany?"
Humble IM Mikael Agopov arriving three hours delayed.

"Do you want me to pay for the bus now?"
Very humble IM and former Troll Champion Mathias Womacka - being too eager to get away from Gausdal to remember his free IM-ticket for the bus?

"I am winning in a very few moves now"
GM Aleksei Lugovoi a very few moves before taking a draw against Magnus Carlsen.

"I hope 3/3 still will be sufficient for an IM-norm"
Magnus Carlsen, 12, still being an optimist at 4.5/7. Even 2.5/3 actually proved sufficient.....

"I met a 12 year old - and I was lost as white after 12 moves"
FM Bjarte Leer-Salvesen explaining why he did not deserve an IM-norm.

"The good news is that you will only have to defeat a 14 year old to get the IM-norm...."
IA Hans Olav Lahlum trying to inform Magnus Carlsen that he needed a win as black against IM Mark Bluvshtein to get the IM-norm.

"EEEEEEeeeehhhhhhhHHHH"
Two anonymous Norwegian FMs when asked the critical question "What are you doing with your hands in my bags in my hotel room at 03.15?"? It all was a friendly misunderstanding, and/or a helpful try to help the chronically non-drinking organiser to get rid of some reportedly unpractical bottles he had got from foreign players.....

"I am afraid it is nearly impossible to have a better position"
Bjørn-Erik Glenne when asked whether he had a good position before losing against FM Riku Molander.

"Do not worry about me - I am getting used to this now"
Terje Karlsen having blundered away another game due to time trouble.

"God still can make wonders"
Geir Sune Tallaksen, having to win to make an IM-norm, commenting his position against Tatiana Shumiakina after the opening. Obviously God and/or Geir Sune at least still can make half-wonders.

"The worst chess chaos I have ever seen. Completely pointless. Pure idiocy. And probably extremely funny"
Bjørn-Erik Glenne watching teamtalkingchess for the very first time.

"This is a much better idea than the main tournament! Damned & damned over again that I do not have a team to play for!"
GM Aleksei Lugovoi watching teamtalkingchess for the very first time.

"Would you like to play for my team?"
Jon Ludvig Hammer, aged 12 and team captain for "the Bompi Bishops", 0.3 seconds after the above given statement from Lugovoi.

"Phone from Canada? I will take it when I have finished this match..."
IM Mark Bluvshtein playing teamtalkingchess.

"Unfortunately I always lose more games at Gausdal than anywhere else in the world! Fortunately it is less hard to lose games at Gausdal than anywhere else in the world!!"
IM Mark Bluvshtein commenting his final result (and asking for another invitation in 2004...)